This thought has been lingering in my mind for quite some time, but I am afraid my thought is too incomplete and immature as of this moment. However, I did realize that our thoughts form and fade so fast, I am going to miss the timing to record it if I wait. A little off-topic here: I always told myself at a young age that “don’t forget this thought or feeling when you grow up”, guess what, I can’t remember that thought or feeling anymore. But it is ok, I am made of all of those thoughts and feelings. This particular thought that I am going to talk about is unique, The thought formed during a huge fight with my mom about some silly things when I was 12 years old.
My mom is very traditional and proper, but I am a wild one, for her anyways. I love her, but it’s hard to have a good relationship when communication and the way of thinking are so different. I am sure she went through the same thing with her mom, it’s just a different generation.
It was the day before the Chinese New Year, she wanted to take me to her friends to celebrate, but I refused. It’s not really a thing in Chinese family to refuse your parents at such age, not in my family anyways. I would always do whatever they have planned. But something about her friends, I just really didn’t like them. And I am always so bored being there listening to their adult conversations. She was furious when I told her I was not going, one thing leads to another, we both started to cry. She yelled at me and said something like “I gave birth to you and I raised you, how could you treat me like this.” And me being me, speaking my damn mind without thinking, I said “I didn’t ask to be born and it is your responsibility to raise me ’cause you gave birth to me.” Ok, I know, I know, you probably think I am a terrible daughter. But the truth is, I never felt bad that I said that ’cause it is true.
Don’t worry, I don’t say that to her anymore, and I try my best to be a good daughter. But that thought never went away though, the thought developed into a different stage for me. I think of it and use it when I can’t understand some people or things around me. ok, think about it, I never understood racism due to the fact that none of the black people asked to be black and none of the white people asked to be white. So why they hate each other base on something they had no control over it? I know it is more complicated than that, but at the end of the day, none of us asked to be here or to be born into the family we are in, so you just can’t get mad at that.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and you be like he/she is so weird. You try to avoid that individual every time you see him/her. I don’t do that often, I am a really nice person. I am not bragging about myself, maybe just a little, but I normally would try to find out the story behind them. After you get to know them and hear about their childhood stories or adulthood stories, you will say to yourself ” oh…. I see, that’s why.” And I would keep my distance if he/she is not my type, but I understand where he/she comes from, and it is so much easier to communicate.
So, take it easy on people, because you don’t know who they are as they don’t know who you are. Every single person has a story that is not all pretty. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, or if you are white or black, or if you are pretty or ugly, we all have our own stories. Not everyone is willing to share, but just remember none of us asked to be born. But we are here! So why not love more and hate less, and hatred only hurts yourself. It’s like a knife on your heart.
On the other hand, take it easy on yourself! You didn’t ask to be born either, and you definitely didn’t choose the family and the environment you grew up in. So I am grateful for what I had as a child, and I don’t envy the ones who had better. Since none of us asked to be born, but we are here anyway. So why not just enjoy it and make the best out of it. Next time when you run into someone who holds different values, finds out about his/her stories, you might be surprised. Till next time, my friends.
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